Monday, May 31, 2004

Gosh, this week...seems like all I have said is Thank you!! Well, yep I got another one...Terri, thanks for the card...your hug was felt way over here...girl, I don't know what I would do without ya...hope to God I never have to find out!!

Elizabeth blogged at 8:12 AM

Not much to post about...just thought I would throw in a HI...all is pretty quite here, in Diz's world (and quite is pretty damn good I tell ya)

Last night we went and tried out for part in Pocohantas (big spelling boo boo there sorry) and YES people I even tried out....gosh what was I thinking?? I am pretty sure Brandon, and Joe will get parts, as for me and Manners I don't know. But it is all in fun. We go down tonight and do another reading, will let ya know how it all went. If I don't get a part, I am going to try and work behind the scenes, which will prolly suite me better.

I am still off work and will be for the summer (if not a little longer) but I am kinda going a bit stir crazy already...I am sure it will all work out, just time is all that is needed.

Amanda seems to be doing fine, today we will go shopping for some of her stuff back. I don't know if any of you know...but when she was gone, I put her stuff in my room, and for every good choice she makes, she gets something back, for every not so good choice I get to take something and return it to "hawk" We stayed up last night and watched an old musical..yep I am a geek, and was raised on those, Seven brides for seven brothers...LMAO you should have heard the commentary given by Joey...OMG he had me and Amanda rolling on the floor!! Brandon however took cover in his room, as it was a bit much for him. LMAO!! I think I am going to look into more musicals, if nothing else just for the sake of laughing!! And Amanda did sit up and take note of the dancing. AAHHHH the good old movies, where the scenery is totally fake, but ya can't help laughing. Any ideas from anyone who is a musical buff...come on admit it...:D

Anyhow take care everyone....have a great long weekend!!!

Elizabeth blogged at 7:51 AM

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Just cause I am feeling like being a bit goofy today, I thought I would pass this along, it comes from one of my friends that I went to high school with, we don't keep in contact much...cept she is always sending me silly little stuff so here it is:

I am passing this on to you
because it has definitely worked for me...
and at this time of year we all could use a
little... calm!!!
By following the simple advice I read in this article,

I have finally found inner peace...

The article read:

"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started."

So I looked around the house to see all the
things I started and hadn't finished... and
after coming home from work today I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey,
my Prozac, some valium and a box of

You have no idea how freakin good I feel...

You may pass this on to those you feel are in
need of Inner Peace...

Elizabeth blogged at 4:42 AM

Friday, May 28, 2004

Checking in here...not much new to tell ya all....just hanging in and trying to "get the work done". siiiiiigh.

Went to Docs yesterday, and he filled out my leave of absence far as I could tell he was ok with my leaving, and it being a medical reason, but ya know government papers are very tricky on the wording....whatever!!! If I get leave I get it, if not...well I won't be working there anymor it is as simple as that. He also put me on antidepressants, ok so now I am crazy...winkey, just kidding I know I am not, this might just help get me through all this. I know some of ya don't believe in "just taking a pill" but well, I feel as if I have to do something at this point. I am getting to the point where I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to do any of this anymore. I I am sure wishing my biggest worry, was some of the stupid shit I used to worry about. But it is not, so I have to muddle through this as best as I can.

Saw the counselor yesterday went ok, I don't know IF it will work, cross fingers for us please.

I do have to add here, that you that have read this, and taken the time to respond here, have restored my faith in people...after my friend dumped all over me the other day, I have been pretty upset, and low and behold I recieve flowers from a woman I have only talked with 3 or 4 times...Suze, you truly are a special woman. And no it is not the gift, really it is the thought that is behind it. Again I am blown away. THANKS!! And that goes for all of you who are here to offer me virtual hugs, those are so special too. THANKS AGAIN GUYS, a girl couldn't ask for better friends than you.

Elizabeth blogged at 5:28 AM

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

The fallout:

Today is going to be hard on my daughter she has to go to school and "face the music" and make the right choices...siiiiigh. I really want an ending to this!! And I want one now. But of course it is way to soon for that.

We got into a "thing" yesterday, over something really stupid....I had to take steps to basically let her know I mean business...I won the battle, but it sure didn't feel good. So really the beach trip, was over-shadowed by the "thing"

Ok, something that has been bothering me since yesterday...and seeing as you all know ALL the dirty laundy I might as well share this. My friend of 20 years has decided that she now doesn't want my daughter to hang with her daughter. Ok I do sorta understand this, as I am going to try my damndest, to get my daughter away from the people she hung with...but the other part of me says it was just a mistake, and well don't we have to forgive our kids...cause IF we don't then how will they ever grow and learn from their mistakes. I don't know I just feel as if my daughter now is being treated like white trash.....and that IF people continue to treat her like this, won't it break her.

I know basically this is mostly my fault, for not being consistant through the years, and I really have no right to anyones dang people, I am not honestly sure how much more I can take. Again alls I can do is...*siiiiigh*

Elizabeth blogged at 4:14 AM

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Anyhow today is the first day, I haven't woke up crying my eyes out, and that is a good thing!!!

Today, I have declared a "fun day" don't know what that will involve yet, but we need a break!!!

Prolly going to the beach or something like that. I might get work stuff done first though, I really don't know. and really don't care at this point. I am going to find some time to do my nails, both sets!!

Pray again for us, tomorrow is gunna be rough on her. Got to go "face the music" at school. I hope she will weather it well.

In any case you all have a great day today!!!!

Elizabeth blogged at 6:00 AM

Monday, May 24, 2004

Here again, at an ungodly hour~~I know you all get tired of this, lord knows I am. The irony of all of it timing wise, doc told me the day before all this shit happened, to stay away from stress, big laugh there!!! LIFE IS STRESS!!

Right now, I am trying to rebuild my family, I do have plans set motion. Or they are going to be set in motion this week. I got coverage for work Mon, Tue, and Wed...Wed will be meeting with my bosses, to request family leave for the summer, I am pretty sure I can get it, but if not I will simply quit..No questions this time around. Today I get to set up appointments with Doctor, to get her tested for drugs, and other such things, as I really have no clue as to what she was up to...well she has admitted to a couple of things, but we need to be 100% sure. can I sigh again *siiiigh* I have already set up plans for counseling, and am looking into more. I really need to figure out what the 3 of us can do over the summer...we need to keep busy, as to much time on our hands leads to shit like this. *siiiiigh*

Well after placing some missdirected ager at a board that I have been a member of for well over a year, I see that my "stuff" isn't even important enough for replies, course I didn't check PMs....but hey that really is ok, I don't need the added stress of it. I guess I just expected much more. I am fully aware that some people on there didn't know, but I know some did, and didn't even bother...makes me feel real important.

Can I also say there is not enough make up in the whole world to cover my swollen, baggy eyes~~and here the tears come again. I am thinking I really should avoid the computer in the early mornings, as it give me too much time to think, and dwell.

Well, ladies the start of a new week, alls I can tell ya is Take care of each other!!! One never knows do they??

Elizabeth blogged at 4:44 AM

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Reaching out: I am asking for some of you that have replied to the mess that is going on in my life right now, to please add me to your IM list. It is 5 am and sure wishing I could talk with someone right about now. I know with family obligations, and time zones this is alot to ask...ok anyways....needing to talk right about now.

Elizabeth blogged at 4:51 AM

Saturday, May 22, 2004

You know, yesterday after I put her to bed....I thought the tears had all but dried, but I have to say how astounded I was/still am at the outpouring of concern, and support...from all of you THANK YOU SO MUCH. Joe and I are forever, grateful to the amount of friends we have...and in situations like one really does learn who those friends are. Again ladies, thanks.
And for the added support in the days to come.

Elizabeth blogged at 5:54 AM

Friday, May 21, 2004

Also, HUGE thanks to all who helped with prayer and sorry I forgot to say it before, just the relief I am feeling now, is so intense, I can't even think straight.

Elizabeth blogged at 11:14 PM

She is home safe and sound. She was at some people's house...and the woman said, that they (Amanda and her friend) had only been there for a couple of hours Stipid bitch (the woman) lied through her teeth, and was harboring 2 runaways...UMMM WFT happened to asking kids that come to your house "do you parents know where you are?" But I guess Joe and I are old fashioned, and silly...WE ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT WHERE OUR KIDS ARE AT, AND WHO THEY ARE WITH. *huge sigh of relief going on here* I am sure it is going to get pretty ugly, once she sleeps off her "big fun"

So sorry I didn't call anyone, but I really hadn't heard anything, and I didn't post cause it would tie up my phone line, and because of this child...I don't have long distance. But that is a story for another time.

We havne't had much time to talk with her yet, we all or to exhausted right about now, matter of fact I can't type worth shit. So I will keep ya updated, but right now, sleep is in order.

Elizabeth blogged at 11:04 PM

Hey guys send up a little prayer for me and my daughter. She didn't come home from school yesterday....I spent the worst night of my life last night...crying, praying, and calling the police, listing her as a runaway...If anyhow there has any suggestions of how to get through this nightmere plese let me know.

Elizabeth blogged at 4:58 AM

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Hey Rhonda, thanks soooo much for you answer to my pervious post!! Knowing that one is not alone is well almost half the battle.

Well I went to the Docs yesterday, new development...I had drank a bottle of water mid-week last week thinking I would be good and start on more water, and OMG I hadn't stopped peeing, yesterday it got to the point of almost on the hour every hour...I was thinking a UI...but nope urine was fine. So ok, now what? siiiiiigh, grumble, grumble...ok so I tell him, I am extreamly tired all the damn time....he listens, and says it is prolly cause I am not sleeping, then goes on to say, no allergy med I am on won't cause sleeplessness....blah blah. Gave me a perscription for Ambian, I took one last night, but I was still up, at 2:30 looking at the clock, then finally get up at quarter to 4....OHHHH well I guess this is "normal" for me, and I need to live with it, and start taking a day on the weekend to get the much needed rest, I need (or something like that)

It was just awful, I drove into work thinking, I can't do this that is not a good way to start my day, NOT....Doc did run blood tests, and I see him next week...I will wait till then before I make any "life-altering" decisions. ie: change jobs, ect....In Docs opinion, the test ran back in Nov. would have been enough to figure out what is going on, and that "it is stress" EEERRR Ok, I will buy that, but UUMMMM what does one do, I can't get rid of the teen daughter, and wouldn't quiting my job add more stress? Good lord, LOST AGAIN!! LOL.

Funny thing about the Ambien, while reading what this stuff does, I found that it controls the GABA production (GABA is the hormone, that helps calm us, anyhow a couple of months ago, I had gotten a book about Amieno Acids, and how IF we have an imblance in those we can feel like shit, ect...aint it funny, that according to that book I was low, and then the Doc perscribes (without me mentioning) something that will help that....HMMMMM I think it is time I really start to research those Aminos...any body got a clue as to where I could look? As I said, I see him next week, and am gunna ask him about that too. Wish me luck!! Thanks, guys you will never know how much you just listening helps!!

Elizabeth blogged at 4:21 AM

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

HMMM thing don't change much around here, I guess there is something to be said about consistancy...than again when the things that do really need to be changed aren't, it really is same old shit differnt day~~What am I talking about you may ask (than again, you may be playing it safe and not ask LOL either way I am going to go on a bit really about the same old stuff.

Sleep: or lack of it is a bitch around here, course I think I am in a vicious cycle now, and I go to bed super early, well dang of course I do, cause I get up at a sparrow's fart (thanks Shaz, I will always love that expression)

House work: I can't seem to get daughter to realize part of this mess is hers, she has had a 4 day weekend, and while she was busy playing sunday, guess what the rest of us were cleaning, and not just a causual clean, a good and honest clean, now why is it she can't do her room, and or her bedroom. Guess she likes living like white trash...or something along those line (ok now don't get all upset at the white trash line I just couldn't think of another way to put it.)

Diet and exercize: or rather lack of it...I have lost a total of 5lbs, and ya comes and goes, comes and goes...any suggestions out there....I can't seem to get up enough steam to exercize anymore, but that could be lack of sleep, and my eating is just way out there. I know my exercize partner is very dissapointed in me. HHMMM wondering if I should finally call my Dr. I tried yesterday, but of course I got their machine. On a good note, I did get my contacts, and a new pair of glasses ordered saturday, and I might have found a way to control the allergies without pills...he is calling in a perscripton for eye drops, that along with nose spray may be all that is needed. HHHMMM wondering IF I can sleep then.

Anyhow, thanks for those of you who are taking the time to actually read this crap, and or comment...I so appreciate the support, even when I know I boar ya to tears. LOL. Hey it is wednesday ladies, the middle of the have a great one!!!

Elizabeth blogged at 4:51 AM

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Here we go, geeze took me long enough to get in here....Anyhow not much to tell with this last week, but I thought I better do at least a small blog to let ya all know, I haven't dissappeared. Last week was pretty ok, not much to write, home, and all the rest of the BS that goes along with all that. I did get to sleep in my room all week, now all that needs to be done, is the dressers filled up, and the closet doors put back into place. I had to forgo the sitting area, as the space is not set up to have a nice one...but I did get to put a tv in I will just have to sit up in bed. But that is ok too.

Anyhow, the kiddies are fine...if not just a bit on the attitude side, you know sulky....siiiiigh. And because of budget cuts, they have lots of 4 day weekends, and days off. Which burns my butt....course people here vote down schools THERE KIDS HAVE ALREADY GONE THROUGH, so I guess they have the opinion that all is well.

Hey wish us luck today, as today is "the big vote day" See our two towns are going to vote on consolidation...and this could be a very bad thing, hubby's job could be at risk and after working there for 18 years being "at risk" was the last thing we thought could happen, so we have been a bit nervous for the past couple of months. Well, I have to look at is as God knows what he is doing with/for my life.

I haven't been around much this last week, as I thought my computer was broke...but Amanda "fixed" it...LMAO she did the same things we did, and of course it worked for her. HHMMMM maybe she is magic.

Well, I hope this finds all in great spirits, and happy...take care!!! (((HUGS)))

Elizabeth blogged at 4:15 AM

Monday, May 10, 2004

AAAAAhhhhh, Monday morning, bright and early, whew I am glad the weekend is over. Way to much hype, and stuff.

My birthday and moms day were pretty good, would have been better if 15 year old hadn't copped an attitude ALL weekend, starting friday night...didn't end till I sat her down, and told her that it is the little things in life that count...not the store bought gifts. Maybe I expected way to much, but geeze her attitude sucked this weekend. Boy, I can remember being selfish, but I sure hope I wasn't that bad...if so guess I owe my mother a HUGE appology.

Anyhow we did 2 bar-b-ques which my hubby happens to be the bestest at doing that. Ribs one night and chicken the other. And a lovely cake, with expresso madness ice cream...YUMMMY~~but today I start back on my diet, and exercize program that is IF I can shift stuff around here for enough room....OMG the mess that was my livingroom--clothes everywhere, and hangers, and such.

Gotta run into town today, and get a coating for the floor...a mop and glow kinda stuff that will make cleaning it so much easier. And one more coat on the dressers, and I think I can start moving stuff back in...thank god, cause sleeping in the livingroom is getting on our nerves!!

Well the birthday went well (cept for getting a year older) I got my 4 new DVD workouts I know sounds weird, but I asked hubby to get them for me. And I got a bench seat for my garden, to sit on while drinking my coffee, and watching my flowers grow. My daughter gave me a nice candle wall scone set, which matches a clock I have in the dinningroom, will borrow it, and hang it in the bedroom. Son gave me a potpori set (sp?) OHHH and I also got a cool touch lamp, with dolphins on it...for the bedroom.

Mothers day I got a pedicure set, and a charm braclet...very nice...all in all it was a pretty good weekend, I was extreamly lazy which I think I needed. I did however do a moutain of laundry, still got more but nothing new there...will be doing that the next couple of days..cause I got 2 days off work!! wooooooohoooooo!!

Hey thanks for all the birthday wishes, you guys rock!!! Love and hugs to all of ya!! Have a great monday ladies!! :D:D:D

Elizabeth blogged at 4:07 AM

Friday, May 07, 2004

Happy friday, folks...ok see I tried to start this off with a positive, I sure hope everyone had a great week!! Mine you ask, HHHMMMM not really sure how to lable this week, crazy might be a word to use, OK WARNING HERE THIS POST COULD GET RATHER LONG: Anyhow mostly tired this week, I think the "mess" that is my livingroom has taken it's toll. I know the bedroom will be GREAT once it is done, and all, but daaaauuumn I am soooo tired. Course I get home yesterday and decide to take a nap....HMMMM is sleeping for 4+ hours a nap or almost a whole nights worth? Problem with that good of a nap is I was up at 2:30 this morning...which will make today an extreamly long day.(but I have now figured that my allergy meds are also adding to my sleeplessness, I have been taking them sporatically, and it never fails I am up at all hours of the night on the days I do take it...HHMMMMM which is more important breathing or sleep?)

Another thing that is really bothering me, is my landlords have been here alot, and have seen my mess.....goodness, I know they won't kick me out, but it sure makes for an uncomfortable feeling.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and it is looking like I will be doing a major overhaul on my house.....which is ok, but not how I really wanted to spend my day and same thing on mom's day...but on a good note I did take monday and tuesday off. down side of that is the normal having to find my own coverage, which makes one feel as IF they are begging for a day off, not a good feeling......gunna try and do a little shopping to accessorize my room. That and I think a couple of days off won't hurt...I love the days off where I can just do what I want, and not have to run around all over. We have decided to go with a nautical/beach theme for our room...which is really a good choice as when Joey and I were dating we spent alot of time at the beach.....siiiiigh remembering that good old days, we used to go sit on the Jeddy, till all hours of the wee morning, and just talk course then he had stuff to say. Quite man I married, well quite now. But a great man none the less. Of course part of the work around here, is me giving him up, as he is so busy working, LOL no that is not a complaint cause I know he is doing it for us/me....but I sure miss him.

I must have really looked like something that the cat dragged in yesterday. don't ya just hate it when people say, "gee you sure look tired." UUMMM that is not a compliment, and ya know thanks..ect. LOL, I think like 5 people said that to me yesterday, and I am thinking, Ok I really need an eye treatment or something...LMAO

Weekend plans anyone?? I know what mine will look like......laundry, laundry, and guess what MORE FREEKING LAUNDRY!!! UUUUGGGGGG.

OOOHHH btw, I don't know bout pictures, I have never really figured out how to post them...but if someone wants to explain it to me....well ok I will try, to bad I didn't get "before" pictures, then you could really see the difference...but oh well, I can try and best explain how it was before.
(((((((HUGS)))))) to all ya have a great day!!!!

Elizabeth blogged at 3:33 AM

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Is it friday yet? No you say....well darn it, sure could use a bit of the weekend, LOL.

Well our room is now painted, for those interested if ya cruise wal-mart, and happen to be by the paint section the color is Bluegrass, looks pretty cool IMO. I found out I suck a painting...yesterday I decided I was gunna help out in getting some of the work done...HEHEHEHE Thank god I have Joey or nothing would get done here....he has done such a great job, on top of his regular job and all the other stuff he does ect....So anyhow, I think tonight is actually a rest night then again maybe not we never did get those dressers painted....siiiiiigh, I can't wait till it is all done, and we can relax again.

Well, other than a pretty bad backache this morning finds me in a pretty good mood, tired but that is a way of life for me. Hope this doesn't bore ya all to tears, and i hope all of you are well and happy!!

Elizabeth blogged at 4:55 AM

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Wednesday May 5th~~AAAAhhhhhh ladies the week is looking a bit hairy...OMG came home from work and crashed out yesterday, then felt so groggy..don't ya just hate that.

Good news is, we start painting today or tonight, and part of the floor will be laid down today!! Wooooohooooo!! I am so excited. Can't wait to get back into my room, and have this mess that is my livingroom cleaned up.

The weather was all grey and yucky yesterday, it always does this, is really nice the first week of may, and then by my birthday, and mom's day it is really blah...really crappy if ya ask me. Alls I want is the sun back, I don't have to have super hot, just a nice sunny day is all. And this whole business of turning 37 on Saturday is there ya know what I mean....well ok not going to let it bug me...UUMMMM well try that is. LOL ;)

Well not much to add today, cept well you got it HAVE A GREAT DAY GALS!!

Elizabeth blogged at 4:20 AM

Monday, May 03, 2004 another weekend gone...did I get everything I wanted done...errr nope LOL, but I did spend a nice saturday garage saling with my girl friends....paid for a professional pedicure for them both...was a very nice gift to give IMO~~ Cept for my one friend had been working all day, and I ended up embarassing her, cause her feet were dirty, LMAO and of course the nail tech just HAD say something I think it was along the lines of: Do you ever shower? and Do you go to bed with your feet like that? OOOHH poor Chris was so embarassed...LMAO what a gift for her huh? And the humilation was thrown in at no cost to me, just an extra bonus, I sure am glad she is a good sport, and we could laugh about it.

Then we went for dinner OMG perhaps I should post about that later...I think I will. And then drinks and dancing, LMAO my legs are still sore.

Yesterday found me sorting through the moutain that is my laundry, did I mention how much I despise laundry? Well if not, I really do!!! The lack of a bedroom is starting to take a toll on us, I can't wait till it is done!!!! Poor Joey working his hiney off, but it is looking GREAT The walls are now in the sanding process, he comes out of the bedroom looking like a ghost, goodness that must be a bad job to have!! He was totally covered in dust, I had never seen the likes of it! Was sorta funny in a warped way!! hehehehe

Ok girls you know the drill HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!!!!

Elizabeth blogged at 5:14 AM

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Saturday May 1st......gosh I LOVE May....course that could be because my birthday is this month, and I always remember my mother (now hubby's turn) making a special effort for me. Selfish I know, but it is nice to feel loved. Anyhow, today is May day....does anyone still give flowers and run, LOL I loved doing that as a kid, and who knows I might, give someone a flower today!! hehehehe.

Ladies, the sun is shinning here, and I am about to go on a shopping trip with the girls....can this day get better, OH yeah, I am treating my 2 of my bestest friends to Pedicures today, One as a birthday present, and the other as a I am thinking of you gift. I know it sounds silly, but we need to take care of ourselves....and this was a way I could show my friends that...Hey girls take care of you.

Anyhow, now on for my brag section, last night we went to our daughter's dance show (miss Manners).....It was great!! Amanda IMHO is very tallented (in dance and in song) now all she has to do is pick which one she wants to do. I sat there proudly watching my daughter.....seeing the almost grown "young woman" with pride on my face....OOOHHH girls where did the time go, I can still remember when she was little...HUGE SIGH HERE. I tell ya ladies, she is leaving me, which makes me sad and excited for her at the same time. How is it that one minute this woman/child can make me beam with pride, love, and joy and the next make me so frustrated. God blessed me with this girl child. And on the frustrated days, that is what I have to remember....she is truly a blessing.

And not to forget the boy child, Mr. Brando (Brandon for those who don't know) I look over at him as we are eating dinner.....OK this is another mystery in my life...when did the boy get peach fuzz....EEERRR UMMMM this is really not suppose to happen, he is growing into such a handsome young man....and gosh I happen to think he is so sweet...he will one day find someone else to care for...and I gotta tell you she will be one lucky woman, one I hope that doesn't break his heart. OOHHH KKKK gotta get off this subject, I am sitting here almost in tears, as I realize how fast my children are growing...I almost feel as if I missed it. Does that makes sence, who knows maybe because it is so close to mother's day this is why I am feeling like this. Alls I gotta say is, I know in my life I have done at least 2 great!! (As I now sit with tears in my eyes) Whew, good grief, I know better than to think on this kinda stuff, remember I don't do the mushy too well!!!!

Anyhow ladies~~Pretend here~~~ You are sitting at your computers, reading hear a knock at your go to open it and all you see is a basket of flowers....on your front step...but off in the distance, you see a blurr of a person running...YEP IT WAS ME....HAPPY MAY DAY!! :D:D

Elizabeth blogged at 7:29 AM